"The lottery is, of course, mandatory, but how can you get the best odds and not be eaten by the wolves at the Night Vale Petting Zoo and Makeshift Carnival?I know to some of you young people this lottery seems like a barbarous, outdated tradition. But if not for a municipally-planned citizen sacrifice each quarter, how else would we find satisfactory meats to feed those sad, scrawny animals?"

"Sadly, dinner or weekend plans were not among the topics" o crush do cecil no carlos kdkdkk

"Night Vale school superintendent Nick Ford, announced today that the Glow Cloud has joined the School Board" MELHOR NOTICIA

"...and, in one case, directly through a living dog, who does not appear harmed by the addition to his body, and has carried the entire billboard around town while going about his usual canine business.The original draft of the release also mentioned something about an offering to a long-dead god, but this was altered to “fun, active lifestyles are important for kids of all ages” in a subsequent addendum."

"He, again, did not mention weekend plans." vamo agilizar o processo ai carlos meu filho

"Top it with a delicious assortment of fresh vegetables, like french fries and Nutella.Subway: Devour your own empty heart."

"Exciting news about the Abandoned Mine Shaft outside of town, where people who vote incorrectly are taken by the secret police: HBO On Demand will be made available to prisoners during their indefinite detention. All your favorite shows, such as The Wire, Sex and the City, and even new hits like Game Of Thrones, will be available in every cell. Additionally, the secret police announced that they will be randomly executing one prisoner a day until all incorrect votes are corrected."


"We lead frantic lives. Filled with needs and responsibilities, but completely devoid of any actual purpose. I say let’s try to enjoy the simple things. Life should be like a basket of chicken wings: salty, full of fat and vinegar, and surrounded by celery you’ll never actually eat, even when you’re greedily sopping up the last viscous streaks of buffalo sauce from the wax paper with your spit-stained index finger. Yes, that is as life should be, Night Vale."